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Comparing yourself to others




''If you've ever found yourself questioning, "Am I the only one?", rest assured that you are not alone in the struggle of comparing oneself to others. This tendency is innate to human nature, and we can attribute it, in part, to the process of evolution.''


Coach Mariam Bennouna



Comparing ourselves to others has proven to have a strong effect on our self-image, self-esteem, and motivation. We tend to unfairly evaluate ourselves by comparing our weaknesses to others' strengths.



Are you the only one comparing yourself to others?


The short answer is NO because of 3 reasons:



  1. Social comparison theory: We compare ourselves to others in order to assess our own social and personal worth. We may compare ourselves to people we see as similar to us, or to people we admire and aspire to be like.

  2. Evolution: Comparing ourselves to others is a deeply ingrained behavior that comes from our evolutionary history. It was critical to assess one's position in the social hierarchy to assess their chances of survival and triumph.

  3. Social media: Social media has made it easier than ever to compare ourselves to others. We are constantly bombarded with images and videos of people who seem to have perfect lives. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.


Why Do I Compare Myself to Others?

There are many reasons why you might compare yourself to others. For example, it might be:




How does it affect my life when I compare myself to others?

It is important to note that some comparison can be healthy. For example, comparing yourself to others can motivate you to set goals and improve yourself. However, when comparison becomes excessive or leads to negative feelings about yourself, it can be harmful.


  • Positive effects of comparison:

- Motivation: Comparing yourself to others can sometimes motivate you to improve yourself. For example, if you see someone who is more successful than you, you may feel inspired to work harder and achieve your own goals. - Perspective: Comparing yourself to others can help you to see your own strengths and weaknesses more clearly. This can be helpful for setting goals and developing a plan to achieve them. - Learning: Comparing yourself to others can also be a way to learn new things and improve your skills. For example, if you see someone who is better at a particular skill than you, you may be inspired to learn from them.

  • Negative effects of comparison:

- Low self-esteem: Comparing yourself to others can lead to feelings of low self-esteem, especially if you focus on your own shortcomings. - Stress & Anxiety: Comparison can also lead to stress and anxiety, as you may worry about not measuring up to others. - Relationship problems: Comparison can also damage your relationships with others, as you may become jealous or resentful of their success. - Depression: In some cases, excessive comparison can lead to depression.



How to tame the habit of comparing myself to others?

There are some must-do actions you definitely need to adopt in order to manage this habit efficiently:


1. Focus on your own journey

Don't compare yourself to others. Instead, focus on your own goals and what you want to achieve. What are you passionate about? What do you want to contribute to the world? 2. Be aware of your triggers

What are the things that typically make you start comparing yourself to others? Once you know what your triggers are, you can start to develop strategies for avoiding them or coping with them in a healthier way. 3. Challenge your thoughts

When you catch yourself comparing yourself to others, ask yourself if your thoughts are realistic. Are you comparing yourself to someone who is genuinely similar to you? Are you focusing on their strengths and ignoring your own?

4. Surround yourself with supportive people

Surround yourself with people who love and support you. These people can help you to feel good about yourself and to avoid comparing yourself to others. 5. Celebrate your accomplishments

When you achieve a goal, take the time to celebrate your accomplishment. This will help you to build self-confidence and to focus on your own strengths. 6. Remember that everyone is different

Everyone has their own unique strengths and weaknesses. Comparing yourself to others is unfair and unrealistic.



I've been a life coach for some years, and I've helped people with all sorts of challenges, including the habit of comparing oneself to others. If you suffer from the same thing, I'm sure I can help too.


Don't hesitate to reach out to me. You can book a free session with me using my Let's Talk program by clicking the below button. It could be the first step towards making a positive change in your life.



I look forward to hearing from you!


Sincerely yours,


Mariam Bennouna

Master Life Coach Certified by the International Coaching Institute



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