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What are the 10 most important needs to nurture your couple relationship?

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How to nurture a couple relationship overtime?

To nurture this sacred relationship, there are 10 very important and interesting needs to consider, so that it remains alive and balanced. I would like to share them with you while insisting on the fundamental values ​​of individual and couple responsibilities.
1. The need for tranquility and peace

The connection within a couple is based on calm, presence and concern for otherness.


What to do about it:

  • Be sober, put yourself in the other person's shoes with a little empathy to see and accept

  • their point of view.

You are here because it seems like you are considering changing job/career.

2. The need for autonomy or freedom

Freedom in a couple relationship is the freedom to be yourself, to take care of yourself and to make choices, while always respecting individual responsibility and the responsibility of the couple.

What to do about it:

  • Release your emotions, talk about their impact on you as a person and on you as a couple.

3. The need for exchange and balance

In a couple, it is obvious that we must give and that we must receive. It is this energetic back-and-forth that proves the couple's long-term commitment and guarantees its vitality.

What to do about it:
  • Be aware of the part that each of you must bring to the relationship and to daily life.
4. The need to value femininity and masculinity

We all have a degree of femininity and masculinity within us, but they are not distributed in the same way depending on whether the person is masculine or feminine, nor are they experienced or communicated in the same way.

What to do about it:

  • Don't try to change the other because you won't like the other trying to change you.

5. The need for affection and emotional security

It is this space of intimacy that will encourage each party to talk about their needs, their fears, their desires without fearing that the other will judge us, criticize us, reject us, or abandon us.

What to do about it:

  • Accept the other with his mistakes and wanderings. It's the best guarantee of more depth, intimacy and love.

6. The need to contribute to the well-being of others

Taking care of the other means paying attention to them, listening to them, helping them, supporting them and acting on the requests expressed.


To take the other in charge is to do in their place, it is to relieve them of personal responsibility, it is to enslave them or give birth to them.

What to do about it:

  • Be careful to take care of the other, and not take him/her in charge!

7. The need for communication and mutual respect

Each couple is unique, since it is composed of 2 complex worlds. Communication is the key to unlocking the world of the other to build a respectful relationship

What to do about it:

  • Talk about your needs and your limits, position yourself and let the other position themselves, listen to them with respect, if you want to be heard and respected.

8. The need for celebration of life, meaning or spirituality

What to do about it:

  • Giving meaning to your life as a couple, in both “senses” of the term, is giving meaning and direction. The two are inseparable!

Recognizing this common life and honoring it are solid foundations for the future of the couple. It creates a framework that the couple can lean on in difficult times.

9. The need for order and security

What to do about it:

  • Be responsible for your own reactions to the other's way of life

To find a satisfactory common form for the couple, it will be necessary to go through communication, negotiation, overcoming anxiety, mixing representations or frames of reference, letting go, adjustment, etc.

10. The need for spontaneity

Authentic speech and dialogue, where everyone takes their share of responsibility, helps to find the path to a self-purifying, spontaneous, adjusted and living relationship again.

What to do about it:

  • Be naturally spontaneous so that your relationship emerges in a space of security, trust, audacity.

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